Julie: Week 1, and body image

"We all want to be skinny, right?"

Someone said this to me recently and I have to admit, I got sort of angry. Is this what we, as women, are now thinking? "I want to be skinny!"

I don't know about you, but I want to be healthy. And it took me a long time to get there.

Like Michelle, I realize that I am a curvy girl, and I've never had a problem with it. This is one of the reasons I had to stop taking ballet when I was 12 and already a 34C-- ballet dancers aren't curvy. They're sinewy and muscular but curvy? Nope.

For very long time, I swear that I was the only one who realized that I was a curvy girl and wouldn't be anything else. My mom, who at 5'8" is as tall and thin as I am short and curvy, essentially poked fun at my burgeoning bosom and I distinctly remember her saying something to the effect of "Once you go over 160 pounds, there's no going back." She's the same person who poked my stomach last month when I commented that I was eating out too much. Gee, thanks, Ma. She means well, but she's never had to battle with her weight (she's gained about 15 pounds since 1973) and has no idea what sort of body image she should have instilled in her daughter.

I've had boyfriends who have broken up with me because I'm curvy (one particular in high school who patted my stomach! Argh!), and my ex was into tall, skinny goth girls (also known as "not me. At all.").

ARGH.

So I will tell you right now: my goal is not to get skinny. My goal is to be healthy. I know that unless I have a tummy tuck, my stomach will not be flat. I do not want to have to work that hard to make my body do something it doesn't want to be. I want to eat healthfully because it's good for me, not because I want to please men (who often prefer curvy anyway) or women (who I think are our harshest critics; far harsher than men!). I want to exercise because human beings are made to move, and it makes my heart healthier and has a thousand other benefits. I want to eat good food-- not diet food, marketed specifically to women because we are so desperate to lose weight that we buy it-- in small quantities (exception: Lean Cuisine, because they're all I can remember for work).

So healthy. Like Nigella, who relishes food and is curvy and seems to have a happy home and career.

Numbers for the week:

No workouts, yet.

2.6 pounds lost

172.2.

Michelle: Body Image and Working Out (Week 1)

I have a million thoughts to share, so hopefully I can boil these down to something mildly coherent. Like Kate and some of the other girls, I took the weekend to go out to eat a few times and rid my kitchen of Keebler Fudge Stripes and other things (pesky elves). The "lifestyle change" started in full-force on Monday.

I have a body image problem. It's a recent thing, this dislike of certain parts of my body. But it's also really hit me that my body image issues are partially brought on by our current society. I was watching Mad Men the other night. One of my favorite characters is Joan Holloway (played by Christina Hendricks). Think about how she looks, how they dress her. She's beautiful, and she's in tight clothing and is most definitely not a size 2. She's curvy, which was accepted and appreciated in the 60s.

I've always loved Marilyn Monroe. This morning, I pulled out one of my "Marilyn Encyclopedias" and looked up her measurements. She was around 38-26-37 (bust-waist-hips). 38! Today, we clamor for 34! Marilyn wore a size 12 dress and a size 8 pants. Gee, how times have changed. If this were the 60s, I wouldn't feel overweight, I'd feel curvy.

Thinking of these women that I find beautiful is helping me adjust to my own body image. I really want to drive a point home though - on this blog, we're all trying to get healthy and adjust our eating habits and exercise accordingly. It's not about "being skinny" for us. Really. However, with good health comes a lot of benefits, and we're definitely up for that. Some of us, when we hit our ideal weights, will still be curvy girls.

I've never been good with numbers. Ideally, I'll be replacing fat with muscle, which is heavier. So my weight may not go down as drastically. When I'm still weighing in the same and the other girls are shedding pounds, I need to remember that. I talked with my trainer on Tuesday, and my goal is to get leaner, and I'm targeting a couple of places. I've also found a solution to track my progress without, again, getting caught up in the numbers. I've cut two ribbons, one white and one black. The black measures my first target area and the white measures the second. The goal is to make sure those ribbons end up too big in the end.

Sunday I stopped at my local SteinMart, which is going out of business. I bought several skirts, all in size 8, with one size 6. At the beginning of summer, I was searching out size 10s. So there has definitely been a change. However, I've lost between 2-4 fluctuating pounds since the beginning of summer, so the difference is in body shape, not weight. This is pretty impressive considering I've only been working out about twice per week, and that includes dancing. Imagine the difference working out will make if I can force myself to do it more than twice per week!

I'm moving my workout ball and my little hand weights out to the middle of the family room, where I'm sure I'll trip over them repeatedly. Hopefully staring at them everyday will force me to use them, even if I don't make it to the gym.

One final thing: I have lousy posture. Whenever you see me, remind me to stand up straight. It makes a huge difference in appearance and, especially with all my back troubles, will keep me from being a hunched up little old woman when I'm 90.