BMI is bunk!

OK, so I'm not disclosing what my BMI is, but trust me, I'm overweight. I've often wondered how BMI works-- how it doesn't take into things like muscle weight, bone density, even things like small girls with big boobs-- how all weight is the same. NPR posted a great article on why BMI is bunk-- turns out it's not really scientific, but just a guy who wanted an easy way to do some statistics! No fair!

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=106268439&sc=fb&cc=fp

Wii Fit

So does anyone out there use a Wii Fit? I talked my gym down a few bucks a month, and am supplementing the gym by using a Wii Fit.

I just started today. How depressing. It told me my weight (173, at least I'm consistent...) and my BMI (29), and my Wii Age.

The first time I did my Wii Age, I was 41 (!).

The second time, I guess I got used to the balance board, I was 33.

That's a little better, but I'm only 28!

So I figure that I can start going to the gym after work for 45 minutes, and on days when I don't have time to do the whole go-to-the-gym, change-before-rehearsal thing, I can sneak in some Wii time. It is pretty fun. I'm darn good at the Hula Hoop!

Anyone else use the Wii Fit?

Julie: Week... yeah. Miss me?

So, several years ago, a really well-known and world renowned doctor diagnosed me as having Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which is linked to insulin resistance. Dr. Glueck (he's local) discovered a treatment for it that helps someone with the symptoms restore fertility, rebalance hormones and lower cholesterol. I stopped the treatment (Metformin) because it made me really ill, and at 21 or so, I didn't want to feel sick all the time.

However, I went for my annual checkup with my GYN a couple of weeks ago, and he said, "Wow, is this the most you've ever weighed?"

It's hard to say "Hey now, not only had I eaten lunch, but I was wearing tall leather boots and winter clothes, butthead. I weighed five pounds LESS this morning!" when you're wearing a paper hospital gown.

Instead, I said, "No, I've been about twenty pounds heavier."

"Do you think you should go back on the glucophage?"

"Uh, yeah. Probably."

So he wrote me a prescription, and I started taking it a week or so ago, and upped myself to the full dose a couple of days ago. It really does make me sick, but I know that it'll eventually go away. It has changed my eating habits. I absolutely must eat with it, and I take it in the morning and evening, so I'm eating breakfast again. It has to be something substantial, so I've been doing bagels and light cream cheese. Lunch also has to be light, and honestly? Dinner is light, too. I felt awful after eating a big dinner the other night, and I just need to change the way I eat. I can still eat what I like-- just a lot less. The clean plate club no longer exists.

I think I may go back to Dr. Glueck, too. He has a great dietician and can keep my lipids and other hormones under close watch, and I think my insurance covers it.

(Yeah, and I also just saw a picture of myself from the Obama Victory party. From below. I look pregnant. That's just not normal. Kate says it was a bad angle. She's really sweet.)

Meanwhile, don't Michelle and I look pretty? This is why photos should be taken from ABOVE.

Julie: Week 5, and dreams

I have a reoccurring dream. It's not a nightmare, but it's a little on the disturbing side. The circumstances are always different: I could be backstage, or at dinner, or at my desk, or sitting on my couch, but the outcome is the same.

All of my teeth fall out. Way more teeth than I have in my head either break off or fall out compeltely. It doesn't hurt, but it's bloody and disgusting and so incredibly vivid that when I wake up, I check to make sure I have all of my teeth. I always do.

I definitely think that dreams are the way for the unconscious mind to work things out when it doesn't have anything else to worry about. I guess I'm a little into Jung and Freud (I did a lot of work with them in my program in college) in thinking that symbols in dreams are somewhat universal. Apparently, teeth represent stability. Teeth falling out represent feeling out of control.

I guess I do feel out of control. I haven't been good about my diet, I've been stressed out and haven't been going to the gym. There are a few things going on that have made me feel disconnected and out of control, too. So how do I gain control?

For me, dieting is about control, and that may be unhealthy. When I lost weight two years ago, I was in one of the most unhappy times of my life-- mid grad school, unemployed, in an awful marriage and generally miserable. I couldn't control any of those things, so I controlled my eating. I am trying to sort out if I want to lose weight now because I want to lose weight, or because I need something to control when I can't control other things. I don't want to lapse into disordered eating, exercising or thinking.

In any case, I'm at 172.6. Down from a gain. I guess I'm not as out of control in my eating as I thought.

Julie: Week 4, and a setback

Last week was pretty darn stressful. I had the power outage (my power is finally back as of 7:30 Thursday night). I got stranded twice; once because of my own stupidity and once because of a bad gas gauge on a loaner car. I had a small party on Saturday (after being stranded earlier in the day). Am I a stress eater? Oh, yes I am. My apartment was completely silent, I read a book and ate cookies and didn't feel terribly bad about it.

We all have bad weeks, and I think large amounts of stress can be considered "bad". Amy had a really good point: first, the pound I gained this week might contain muscle from my workouts (possible, but not probable) and even then, I have a good excuse. We all have our stress relievers. What I need to do is find a healthier stress reliever that I can do at home without electricity.

Good thing though? Shopping this week! I bought some clothes that fit-- I may have gone up a jean size, but I feel so much better in clothes that fit me well. Today I'm rocking a purple lace and cotton shirt from Bebe, a black pencil skirt, hose and heels. I should probably post a picture, but I don't know who'd take it at this point. Just goes to show you-- clothes can definitely help make the woman. Buy clothes for the size you're IN, not the size you want to be. You'll feel and look better, sexier, more proportional (or more sophisticated, or whatever you're going for) if your clothes fit-- that goes for too big AND too small.

Julie, Week 3: Work it, baby.

It's obvious: I can only do so much to curtail my social life. I'm the friend you ask about good food, so of course I have to... I don't know, eat it? I'm finding that portion control is my key and five course meals are my downfall-- but not if they're tasting menus and I don't eat it all.

So, coming to the realization that it's fall, and I have a ton of social events starting up, I decided to exercise. Nothing has changed since last week; I still hate it and sort of dread it. However, if I get to the gym BEFORE I go to work, I have no excuse. Terry gets up at 5:45 and I see him out the door by 7. Why go back to bed?

So, this week, I have trudged before dawn to go to the gym. Monday, I went to the Hyde Park Urban Active, which was so packed I gave up-- Monday was my sole "post work" workout because I didn't have anything to do after work. I gave up and went to Bellevue! Bellevue's Urban Active is so nice-- it was crowded, but there were plenty of machines for everyone.

Tuesday, I did my first morning workout. I went back to Bellevue, and it was pretty dead-- I watched The Today Show while I used the elliptical.

Wednesday, I went to Urban Active in Hyde Park. I'm just going to skip Hyde Park and drive up to Mason next time. It's smaller, but it's nicer and the machines aren't all broken. I ended up reading a magazine on a recumbent bike because I couldn't find a working elliptical.

Today, I took a day off-- had some car trouble (silly battery) and wanted to make sure I had time to call AAA. I figure I walked 13 blocks in heels last night, so I got a little extra exercise yesterday.

Other steps I'm taking: If I drink, I limit myself to one glass of wine or one cocktail and then drink water or diet Coke the rest of the night.

I have a wine dinner coming up tomorrow night, and I'll be there with Michelle. I'm going to drink wine, but not the entire glass. I'll eat my food, but not the whole plate. Moderation, moderation.

And I'll be back at the gym in the morning. It actually feels nice getting up so early, and I'm sleeping a lot better.

I lost .5 pounds this week-- despite overindulging. Maybe it's working!

Julie: Week 2, and holding fast

I admit, I didn't have a great weekend. Labor Day weekend, having people over, a few too many appetizers, a couple of drinks I shouldn't have had-- all in all I came out? Even.

Not bad. Not totally disenchanting, but not bad.

Holidays and vacations are my total weak spots, thus no difference this week. I mean, come on-- we all know that I have a love affair with food that surpasses simple sustenance and comfort. I'm into the artistry, the history, the science-- you name it. I read Gourmet and Slashfood like some guys read porn. Thanksgiving has become my favorite holiday. So, taking into consideration my obsession with food, I have to combine exercise and portion control. The portion control is much easier than the exercise.

I really need to start exercising. Aside from walking around downtown, I'm not an exerciser. I never played sports. I danced until I was in my teens, but don't feel like taking dance lessons. I have a gym membership (Urban Active) that I rarely use. I have yoga mats and DVDs at home (have you tried to do yoga with cats? Difficult!). I have lots of excuses and little motivation. Exercise bores me.

I'm the kind of girl that always has a book with her. It's darn hard to read while on an elliptical, and I somehow have the mindset that a recumbent bike is lazy. Appreciate nature while biking around? Not my style. Running? Ew. As much as my friends (and boyfriend) tell me they love it, I just can't get behind it. Wii Fit? I'd have to find a Wii. It goes on and on.

So what the heck can I do besides force myself to go? Once I start doing it, will I really ever enjoy it? I never have time after work-- how freaking early do I have to get up?

What does a girl do when the last thing she wants to do is break a sweat?

(Image from V for Virtuoso through Creative Commons license.)

Julie: Week 1, and body image

"We all want to be skinny, right?"

Someone said this to me recently and I have to admit, I got sort of angry. Is this what we, as women, are now thinking? "I want to be skinny!"

I don't know about you, but I want to be healthy. And it took me a long time to get there.

Like Michelle, I realize that I am a curvy girl, and I've never had a problem with it. This is one of the reasons I had to stop taking ballet when I was 12 and already a 34C-- ballet dancers aren't curvy. They're sinewy and muscular but curvy? Nope.

For very long time, I swear that I was the only one who realized that I was a curvy girl and wouldn't be anything else. My mom, who at 5'8" is as tall and thin as I am short and curvy, essentially poked fun at my burgeoning bosom and I distinctly remember her saying something to the effect of "Once you go over 160 pounds, there's no going back." She's the same person who poked my stomach last month when I commented that I was eating out too much. Gee, thanks, Ma. She means well, but she's never had to battle with her weight (she's gained about 15 pounds since 1973) and has no idea what sort of body image she should have instilled in her daughter.

I've had boyfriends who have broken up with me because I'm curvy (one particular in high school who patted my stomach! Argh!), and my ex was into tall, skinny goth girls (also known as "not me. At all.").

ARGH.

So I will tell you right now: my goal is not to get skinny. My goal is to be healthy. I know that unless I have a tummy tuck, my stomach will not be flat. I do not want to have to work that hard to make my body do something it doesn't want to be. I want to eat healthfully because it's good for me, not because I want to please men (who often prefer curvy anyway) or women (who I think are our harshest critics; far harsher than men!). I want to exercise because human beings are made to move, and it makes my heart healthier and has a thousand other benefits. I want to eat good food-- not diet food, marketed specifically to women because we are so desperate to lose weight that we buy it-- in small quantities (exception: Lean Cuisine, because they're all I can remember for work).

So healthy. Like Nigella, who relishes food and is curvy and seems to have a happy home and career.

Numbers for the week:

No workouts, yet.

2.6 pounds lost

172.2.

Introduction: Julie

My life is hard.

I have a good boyfriend, I eat lots of good food all the time, I'm somewhat successful professionally.

Man, I was so much thinner when I was unhappy!

In 2003, I weighed about 195 pounds. I had surgery. I lost a lot of weight-- went down to about 165-170. Not bad, right?


(Me in 2002)

I got married in 2004 and was a pudgy bride. No wonder I don't really want to get married again.



In 2006, I lost about 25 pounds because the only thing I could control during grad school, a divorce and a job search was my weight. I used Sparkpeople (which I will do again), which is great because it's free and really motivational. Did I mention free? Yeah. Free.



Look at how slim my face is. I miss that.



(I still needed to firm up, but I was slim. Ish.)

In 2007-2008, I gained almost all of them back. I totally gained the Food Blogger 15, and an extra ten just by drinking too much, eating too much, and working at a sedentary job.



So.

In talking with the other ladies on this blog on Twitter, we decided to start a blog (in a flurry of tweets that took about five minutes). Here we are. I figure I'll lead by introducing myself and throwing out the "vitals".

I know how I'll lose weight-- diet and exercise. Do the 1200-1500 cal/day Sparkpeople plan with exercise at least three days a week. That's my sore spot-- exercise. Though I have a gym membership, I never go. I'm too busy or too tired or too bored by exercising or whatever. I'll have to change that. I refuse, however, to eat lots of "diet" food. I do often eat Lean Cuisines for convenience at lunch, and will still do that. No donuts. I will still eat out. Portion control and good healthy choices will be my key. Less alcohol, less fried stuff, no stealing Terry's french fries.

Starting weight? 175. I think. I'll check again at home. I'll probably cry. I'm one of those women who people insist looks about 15 pounds lighter than she actually is. I guess that's nice? I feel every ounce of it.

Last time, I got as low as 148. I was pretty OK with that weight. So let's set that as a goal.

Total weight loss? 27 pounds. Doable.

Starting? Now.