Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Michelle: A Little Sad (Week 3)

This week I seem to be battling the blues. It's funny, because I've never been busier as I am this week, with an event (or two) every night through Sunday. So, onwards to the depressing post of the week.

I think the blues are tied to several things. Among them, it's the one year anniversary of my father-in-law's death this weekend. He died at age 58 from early onset Alzheimer's.

He also died almost a month before my little sister suddenly passed away. So that's looming on the horizon as well. My dad has been calling with updates on the headstone.
When do you finally get past things like this? Does it get easier?

Finally, I'm organizing a wine tasting for tomorrow night for the scholarship fund in memory of my sister. Usually, I've got a whole committee behind me. This time, however, it's just me organizing everything, trying to get people to attend, sending out press releases, and more. The rest of the committee has no interest in wine. (You'd think they'd have interest in helping promote the event, but that's another gripe for another time.) There are still 8 seats left, folks, if you want to come. Regardless, the whole situation is both stressful and upsetting.

Anyway, I'm feeling rather defeated and like a grey cloud is following me around. I've had a headache for 3 days. My first reaction is to eat. Of course, eating when I'm stressed and/or upset is what got me into this mess in the first place. I remember when being sad would actually cause me to lose weight. It was only last year that I started reaching for food to make me feel better.

Of course, it's sort of a vicious cycle. When I stop myself from grabbing the chocolate bar, I then get depressed that I got myself into this weight issue to begin with. It's all terribly self-defeating.

Knowing that I'm doing this to myself doesn't seem to help. I sort of feel like I'm drowning and that only a string of licorice or a Pixie Stick (or a whole package) will keep me afloat.

Total pounds lost - 7
Pounds this past week - 1, Who knew?


Kel Klump said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kel Klump said...

Hang in there. Its easy to get distracted by life, but you will feel better in the long run if you keep on task. I have used these times in my life for motivation. I always remember how I would want that person to see me and how proud they would be of me loosing the weight. I am only down 10 in my fight, but now am in a cast again for an injured foot. I cant wait to get back to my routine and the gym. Good luck!

Amy in Ohio said...

You've got a plateful these days. I don't have any answers, but I'm thinking of you.

I lost my mother very unexpectedly in 1997 and it has gotten easier but it took a long time to say that. There are still days or weeks where it feels as bad as it did a decade ago and it is paralyzing on those days.

I'm sending good thoughts your way.

Kate The Great said...

I've been in a funk ever since my seven-month-old niece died in May. Despite her significant health problems, her death was a shock and a major blow to our family.

I believe time is the only element that can really heal those internal, emotional wounds.

My niece's first birthday is in less than a month, and I know that will be an incredibly hard day for my sister, b-i-l, parents and the rest of the family.

I've shoved a lot of food down my gullet to try and make things feel better- but it never does.

I'm here for you if you ever need to talk.